The End of Wormtail
by atuin
Summary: The tears flowed down Peter Pettigrew's face as he paced his small one bedroom apartment. He couldn't determine whether it was physical or mental pain that caused them to flow so freely, but he knew that this was the time to cry. Today was the last day...


The tears flowed down Peter Pettigrew's face as he paced his small one bedroom apartment. He couldn't determine whether it was physical or mental pain that caused them to flow so freely, but he knew that this was the time to cry. Now. Not later and not in the past. His arm burned, scarring his thoughts and reminding him that today marked a change that he could never regret. Today was the last day he was truly a Marauder.

As he paced, he returned to the fireplace, out of place in a one bedroom place to muggles, but something that he, as a wizard, was reliant on. It was another mark of what was different between the two sides of the world; the two sides he was ever so clearly needing to see the differences of.

He was glad for the fireplace for more than the conveniences of travel. Fire was calming, especially now. It was a reminder that destruction is not always a bad thing. It was a reminder that he likely did make the right choice, and it was a reminder of the mother he was so strongly trying to protect.

As he sat down, staring into the flames, he couldn't help but feel the tears flowing faster, as he thought of those he likely betrayed. His friends, his brothers, his non-biological family. They could never understand the choice he made, the choice he had to make. They could never understand that sometimes it was not worth fighting and this was one of those times. Sometime's belief in a principal isn't enough. Sometimes belief that something is wrong isn't enough.

As the tears began to wane, he picked up a quill and pulled forward a piece of parchment, needing to make this true to himself; needing to commit fully. Because now there was no turning back.

_This is I, Peter Pettigrew. Today I made the hardest decision of my life. I joined them. I know you feel it is wrong, but it really was the best thing I could do. I still care for you and still want to protect you. I don't want any of you hurt either. I wish that you'd realize that my choice was right and follow, but I know that's not your way. You're too stubborn. Courage doesn't require being stubborn. Now I'll need to try to protect you from the other side._

_I will do that. I plan on feeding you misinformation to keep you away from the most dangerous times for you. Your lives are more important than the average witch, wizard, or muggle. Someone has to die, it doesn't have to be you._

_But still, I know that today marks the end of me truly being a Marauder. You can never know that. You can never know of my choice here, but I'll admit that it was betraying you, even if it was the right choice._

_I'm sorry James, Prongs, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I'm now on the side trying to kill Lily. I'm sorry that I'm now on the side that just killed your parents. And I'm sorry that it was their murder that made me begin to realize what I needed to do. Because once the Potters had fallen, what was a meslely Pettigrew._

_I'm sorry Sirius; I'm sorry Padfoot. I know that I know represent most of what you hate. I know you left this. I know that it must pain you to know that some went the other direction._

_And Remus, Moony, the one who held us all together more than you knew. I'm sorry. I know they'll turn to your kind next - I know that they won't be happy only killing off the muggleborns and will deem your blood unpure too. But maybe I can keep them off your trail long enough._

_My brothers, I'm sorry. I am no longer one of you. Today marks the end of Wormtail._

_Peter Pettigrew  
>Wormtail<br>1976-1781_

The tears picked up again as he read over his words. He knew this was the end. He changed, what he expected to be his last time, into a rat, chewed the corner of the paper, and changed back to his regular human form. Giving a last sigh as he looked out the window to see the sun setting, he picked up the paper, turned back to the fire, and threw it in.

As it burned his old life ended and his new life began. Tears spew down his face, until it was finished burning away. Then he stopped, turned to get a cup of tea, and sat staring into the flames as the last beams of sun moved beyond the horizon.

The time of Wormtail was officially over. 


End file.
